Chalk it up to having a few too many wines or having the time to finally think deeply about what we want and need – it’s that time of the year again when we decide to take control of our lives and resolve to do better.
There are many reasons why we find ourselves making new year’s resolutions.
- A new diary and calendar offer a fresh start, both literally and metaphorically.
- We get the chance to look back on the past year and what we would change.
- Everyone wants to know what plans we have for the new year.
- It’s a good time to think about what we want from our lives.
- After the excesses of Christmas, we’re ready to swear off junk food and alcohol.
- There is always a sense of hope and optimism with a new year.
Despite our best intentions, while 52% of us believe we’ll achieve our goal, only 12% actually stick with our new year’s resolution.
That’s not the best strike rate, is it?
Why most new year’s resolutions fail
Most resolutions fail because they are made on the spur of the moment. We might be put on the spot and get caught up in the impulsivity of the moment. Next thing we know, we’re committing to something that doesn’t truly meet our needs.
For any goal to succeed, you need to know why you are doing it and have a plan to achieve it. As most resolutions are made in a moment of impulsivity, they are often doomed to fail.
Here are some of the reasons past new year’s resolutions may have failed.
- Unrealistic: often the resolutions we set are wildly ambitious and out of our control. If there’s no way we can achieve them, there’s no chance we’ll stick with them.
- Unaccountable: a resolution means nothing if you don’t change anything to achieve it – just saying you want to make a change doesn’t make it magically happen.
- No plan: most resolutions are pie-in-the-sky ideas. If you don’t have a plan for how you’ll follow through, it’s almost certain your resolutions won’t survive past February.
- Vague: resolving to lose weight or work less is super vague. There’s no incentive to make a change or a clear motivation to drive new behaviours, leading to even more failure.
- Self-doubt: if you don’t believe you can achieve your goal, you won’t. A lot of new year’s resolutions are plagued by a voice in our head telling us there’s no point trying.
- No tracking: if you don’t track your progress you won’t know how far you’ve come and you’ll be more likely to give up before making any real progress towards your goal.
How to set realistic goals for 2023
The first step is to skip making new year’s resolutions altogether! Bin them – they are not the way to make real and lasting changes in your life. If resolutions haven’t helped you in the past, chances are they won’t help you now.
The second step is to think deeply about what you want to change in your life. What’s one thing you could change that would make your life better? Then ask yourself ‘why?’ Keep asking yourself this until you get to your core goal.
For example, you may think losing weight is the answer but by asking yourself why you realise that improving your diet and lifestyle is your true goal.
The third step is to make a SMART goal. Take the one thing you want to change and create a SMART goal around it. SMART stands for:
- Specific (WHAT you want to change)
- Measurable (HOW you will measure it)
- Achievable (CAN you really get there)
- Relevant (WHY it matters)
- Time-based (WHEN you will reach it)
If you want to improve your diet, a SMART goal might look like this:
“I will eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables each day by March 31. I will map out my meals each week, go shopping twice a week and eat one to two servings per meal.”
Making a SMART goal addresses the reasons why most new year’s resolutions fail. It also gives you a blueprint to follow throughout the year, giving you a better chance of achieving lasting change.
Is impulsivity stopping you from reaching your goals?
Some of us find it harder than others to set goals and work towards them. If you’re constantly distracted by other things or don’t have the patience to work toward your goals, you might be struggling with impulsivity.
Impulsivity makes it hard to control your impulsive urges, even when you know giving into them will not make you feel better (and may result in more serious consequences). Take our impulsivity test now to see if impulsivity is stopping you from reaching your goals.
You can take back control
Online courses, like Impulsivity, can help you reduce your impulsive behaviour, better understand yourself and recognise the underlying issues you’re dealing with.
Our online programs teach you how to develop better self-control, address triggers and vulnerabilities, plan and develop better habits and use mindfulness exercises to help you control your urges and impulses.
You can access the material 24/7 and refer to it as needed. Cheaper than paying for a series of sessions with a psychologist, online courses also make it easier for those in rural and remote areas to access the help they need to overcome impulsivity.
Developed by a team led by Dr Yuliya Richard (a clinical psychologist specialising in impulsivity), our courses use scientifically-proven strategies to help you understand and overcome the specific impulsive behaviours affecting everyday life.
If you want to take charge of your life and manage your impulsivity for good, we can help. Offering a range of online courses, Impulsivity can guide you towards a healthier and happier life. Take our quick impulsivity test now to see if we can help!
